Guest blog post written by Kathleen Murchinson
Like most of us with Fibromyalgia or any other type of chronic energy draining illness, we go through out our day spending the limited amount of energy that we have. We either take a shower and go out, or depending on if we even slept the night before, will just go for a meal and then back to bed! Energy is a precious thing and people with fibro do not have a lot of it.
I have to spend my energy wisely to try and get through my day. I am a pusher so even when I don’t have energy to do something or have enough to be around a certain person I still try to push through, all without letting the fatigue that my whole body is consumed by show. When I go out I have to put up an energy front to somehow say “I have so much more energy than I feel”. I am always conscious of who I am around and what kind of energy level I need to be around them. Some people carry such a high energy level that to be around them you also need a high energy level just to be around them. Yes, for a short time they can actually give you an energy boast, but afterwards the crash of energy is usually very intense. Energy crashes are a normal part of life in a person with Fibro. They can come at any moment, so when they do come or you are just drained from your day or the person that you spent time around, you need a retreat. This is a place and time to go try and recover, rest, heal, and have a quiet moment. I find myself withdrawing from people and wanting to go to my quiet room for some time out when I have low energy. I have found that there are only a few people who I would even dare allow near me during this badly needed resting time. The few people, who I feel comfortable with allowing them to see me in this low energy mode, are usually ones that are content to just be with you. They don’t need a conversation to entertain them. They can just be with you.
For a lot of people and for me, my pet is probably the most amazing thing for my low energy. Pets can be so healing to a person with a chronic illness. In a time of retreat, when I just need to be okay with having an extremely low energy level, pets can be awesome company. I have a horse; he is more like my therapy horse than anything else. I cannot really ride anymore, so for us I stick to brushing, walking with him, and perhaps if I am feeling up to it some natural horsemanship on the ground. He is amazing to be around when my energy level is low. He is just okay to be with me in a quiet moment. I don’t have to put up an energy front, but I am able to relax and take down all fronts. I am okay to be in pain with him and I don’t have to hide the emotional toll that having a chronic illness has on me. It is actually better when you want to have a quiet moment with a horse to have low energy because they can sense and feel the atmosphere that you bring and create around you. This can be a really amazing bonding moment for my pet and I.
The people or animals that you can be around when you are in need of a low energy mode are very special. They don’t have to see you at your best, but they are content with just your company, even if you hadn’t been able to shower in a couple of days. It’s these people or animals who can share in your quiet moments for your energy sake who are the best! So whether you are feeling it from the things you did on your good day, or just a bad day from a horrible night, take a moment to retreat, recover, and rest. And if you can share that time with someone, your partner in life, your sister or family, your pet or good friend, let them know how treasured they are. Because these people who we can trust being vulnerable with, at our low energy state are very rare.
Let these people know how loved they are.
Dedicated to the lovely, caring people at this support group, to my pet therapy horse, my sister Joanna and to my good friend Molly Schell, she is someone who understands.
Kathleen Faith Murchison