One of the oddest things I've experienced during this decade long struggle with fibromyalgia is strange anxieties. At first I hardly noticed them or if I did notice them they just confused me, I'm not generally an anxious or fearful person and admittedly it took me a while to realize that the feeling was even anxiety.
After I was sick I suddenly started having trouble with crowds, I've never had trouble with them before. I started to feel claustrophobic and I realized I felt very distracted like I couldn't concentrate, couldn't process. I get this weird tunnel vision too, not physically more like mentally where the only place I can concentrate is right in front of my face. I began to feel kind of paranoid and over protective of my space. I felt invisible, not in an attention getting kind of way, but in a people might accidentally run me over because they couldn't see me kind of way.
Another strange developement was my avoidance of phone conversations, I didn't have trouble with email, or text, I felt terrified to talk on the phone, especially to strangers but even to family. I've never been a real big phone person but up until then I hadn't felt scared to call someone. I realized I was finding excuses not to call people or I'd email or text them instead. I couldn't really pin it down and call it fear though it was just this urge to procrastinate; I'd think about calling but I never actually would. At one point I was even leaving my phone at home just so I wouldn't have to answer a call, and I still don't usually answer my phone I just let it go to voicemail out of reflex.
The weirdest one was the reaction I was having to doorbells. The sound of a doorbell would make my stomache drop I'd feel nauseous and panicky like I'd just been seriously startled, and comically I often found myself darting behind an object so no one would know I was home. I suppose that's not actually very funny, I'd laugh it off every time it happened, but then I'd turn around and do it again. I feel this huge reluctance to answer the door, and I absolutely hated unexpected company but this one seems to be improving. I still struggle with the damn doorbell sound though, even if it's just the T.V.
One of the more devastating ones that has gone away is my reaction the the garage door opening. I don't know if this was general because the only person who opened the door besides me at that time was my then husband, but I would feel instantly sick and my heartbeat would accelerate and I'd feel this crazy hot flush come over me, like dread. I'd feel this awful urge to bolt into my room and climb into bed, that one was definitely not funny.
I have realized over the years that some of these have a very rational explanation that aligns with our system-wide dysfunction and some of it stems from stigma, embarrassment and shame. one of the strange things about fibromyalgia is the sensory overload we experience. We are bombarded by information we cannot process, pain, light, sound, touch, taste, smell. So being uncomfortable in places like crowds or big stores, makes sense because there is too much information, we shut down. Similar reasons for the phone only we are highlighting our cognitive problems, brain fog, aphasia, and overstimulation. I will still attribute sensory issues with overreactions to the doorbell/garage door, I think part of that is a heightened startle response and adrenal malfunction (fight or flight). Some of it however was a feeling of shame for being sick, for being home during the day, not working, feeling like you are letting people down and those people reinforcing that belief, compounding already heightened anxieties.
If you live with someone who suffers from these kind of anxieties due to their fibromyalgia you can help them. Small things like making decisions help. If they are bombarded by information overload the last thing they need is to have to make another decision. If there are fifteen brands of peas just pick one for them, if you want to go out to eat but they can't decide, decide for them. Anytime they seem indecisive help them by taking away the choices or at least narrowing them down. You wouldn't believe how helpful just this act alone is. steering the cart in a store is another way to help them, you're not only leading but blocking others from their space. If they suffer from painful skin this can be a very important lesson to learn; don't let strangers get too close, the fear of being bumped or touched can be very overwhelming and distracting. Encourage them instead of shaming them.
Personally I have found wearing head phones in a store helps ease the overload, I can make better eye contact too.
A significant part of my anxiety was due to the lack of support I felt in my relationship and some of that has subsided since I no longer feel the pressure to be something I can't be. Again, relationships matter and they can greatly impact your health.