Life, it's a beach.
One of my favorite things to do when I come to the beach is to bury my feet in the sand, just stand there at the edge of the tide and wiggle my toes until the sand has sucked me down at least a half foot, there I'll stay swaying in the wind and allowing the beach to hold me upright. I love it.
Turns out mud is pretty good too, but the beach is best. The view, the wind both drowning out sensation and noise, the rhythms and beauty the warmth of the sun it feels like peace. Like happiness.
Mmmm.
I should stop there with peace and perfectness.
Bah!
So while I was soaking up said bliss and lathering on copious amounts of sunblock, the sun was thinking less peaceful things. I know I'm pale, I didn't forget I swear. I was only there for about an hour I used 30 sunblock (which I know isn't quite sufficient) but I applied at least 6 times....
I even took an umbrella- which happened to be missing the second half of its pole and I would have had to be about 2 ft tall to fit under- but I did plan for my uber paleness, but I forgot about the fibro. Imagine that! I forgot about meds and allergies and how having fibro is like; well it was cool of you to plan and all, but I don't do plans. Fibro loves to be unpredictable and a total asshole.
So while I was thinking I love not being able to see my ankles, fibro was totally agreeing. We however defined those things differently.
Buh-bye ankles
I knew when I was leaving I'd probably be a little red, that's a given when you haven't seen proper sun in ages. This wasn't just a little red. By the time I got home I was fire engine red, that night I started to turn a little purple. When I woke up in the morning I could feel just how bad it really was, my ankles where huge and every inch of my skin was screaming, but the big surprise was when I tried to stand up. I couldn't. There were these extremely intense shocks running from the bottom of my feet up my skins to my knees. Like my legs had been broken. I'm not exaggerating, I could put no pressure on my feet. Kind of scary really. My legs felt like they were splitting open and every nerve was firing. Every time I would try to put my feet down the pain was so intense I would immediately collapse. This went on for 3 days before the pain started to subside. I used crutches and a wheel chair for the first few days and at a week out I can walk and the burn is starting to heal, but I can still feel that sharp stabbing pain in my shins to a lesser degree and my skin took a beating for sure.
This was no normal sunburn. And why did my legs burn so badly when nothing else did? I'm pretty sure it damaged some of the nerves deep down and that's the reason for the extreme pain and probably the swelling. I'm wondering if it was an allergic reaction to the sun possibly or if it was whatever autoimmune I have. I have a positive ANA and a high CRP, they know I have autoimmune but they haven't been able to determine what. I believe they think it's lupus and they don't want to give that diagnosis until they are sure. So maybe it was some kind of photo sensitivity. I've had these sort of tingles or shocks in my arms and legs before after sun exposure. It feels like tiny rain drops, cold or wet and I often feel exhausted or slightly sick after being in the sun. It could have been the fibro, just another bizarre relationship to my nervous system or autonomic dysfunction. Maybe it was the medications I'm on, though none warn of sun exposure. All I know is the amount of time I was out there shouldn't have resulted in this bad of a burn with sunblock.
So I've been a tad skittish about returning to the beach, I want to but I think if I do it will be fully clothed and that kind of sucks. So much for that tan I was hoping for. I'd much rather be pale than feel like I have for the last week! hopefully the nerves will heal fully and I won't have any lasting damage.
Some days I feels like fibro steals everything you love.