I've never felt particularly fond of weddings. Such a production, months or years of planning over in a day! I see the overworked bride the under-worked but over-harassed groom, the gobs of money spent that seem frivolous when faced with putting a family together, how the presentation always seems to shift from the bride and groom to the happiness of the guests and how well you charmed, gifted or served them. The bickering and complaints the boredom and often the debates on how long it will last. This admittedly played a huge role in my own decision about how I married. I had no wedding, we went away for a weekend and split a twenty in the court house ( I've bragged about this), we put together a reception 6 months later and honestly I never regretted it, but...
Last weekend I saw why a wedding could be great, why they say the sappy things they do and don't regret a minute of it. And even though I know the bride was exhausted I also know she will remember and feel fondness for every effort she made.
It wasn't just the bride and groom that made this wedding work, though they play the largest part of course. It was the whole family, the love and support.
I wasn't initially able to go to this wedding, they irony is my marriage failing allowed me to, plus the graciousness of their families. It was going to be too much money for me and my husband to go, to rent a hotel a car and food. Instead when I told her what was happening she arranged for me to stay with her. His parents actually vacated their own house to stay at a hotel so a dozen or so people could stay in their house, sleep in their beds, eat their food and provided transportation to and from everything. Can you imagine? That was just the icing. The real big thing, the most amazing thing is without having met anyone they all but adopted me into the family. Every sister, brother, cousin and friend already knew my name, they knew I was sick and what I might want or need.
I can't even describe how that felt.
I've never seen two families so well joined, and I'm not saying they are drama-free but they worked as a team. Both of them come from pretty large families, I mean 160 guests and all but a few stragglers like me were family! Oui! It was fantastic.
They reminded me of so many things I forgot a family could be, should be. Kind, forgiving, loving, patient, nurturing, funny, light, together, honest, and open. His mother reinforced that she was no longer the most important woman in his life, a thing mothers should do but don't always. His father openly wept several times, that was a tear-jerk. Both families together prepared the land they used and sacrificed great amounts of time and energy. I mean his dad literally almost died when a tractor rolled on him weeks before the event, still he was out there prepping for the wedding. His sister and brother played chauffeur all weekend, for people they had never even met. Her sisters were amazing, make-up and hair, clothes and errands, food and babysitting, ect...
The wedding was a beautiful outdoor wedding, she rode her horse in too! They wrote their own vows his brother and dad made their rings. It was sweet and romantic, light and funny in just the right amounts. You could feel the rightness of it all, that commitment was more than just words in the moment and compassion that went farther than themselves. They love each other and their families no matter what.
When I left Georgia I couldn't help but think I missed that part of family it what was always most important to me and it was a good reminder why. I need that acceptance, that love and compassion without it I wither. I feel like I've been in the shade for a long time, feeling so easily accepted and cared for was a good boost and a reminder that I'm worth it too.
I think with so much love and support both between themselves and within their family their marriage will be grand and beautiful and sweet, and I will be there cheering them on with nothing but love and encouragement.
So much about last weekend I will never forget, it came at a much needed -maybe sorely placed time.