Sometimes I think I have a sign on my forehead that reads "abandon all hope, Ye who enters here."
That's maybe a tad dramatic I realize.
I have a few buzz words, words that without a doubt will hit my ears wrong. Those being; needy, sensitive, nag, and negative. That probably says volumes without even needing to explain. Sometimes these words are because I'm afraid it's true, sometimes it's because I'm positive I am not. Which one is which you ask? or maybe you didn't ask but here you go anyway- I AM NOT nor have I ever been a nag, in fact if I am anything it is a pushover. I will likely sock you in the neck if you ever call me a nag. (You see I didn't write violent because I have no confusion regarding this word.) I don't think I am needy but I know I can be sensitive which I don't believe to necessarily be an automatic defect. But the absolute kicker is negative. This one is probably my most defensive one because it's both true and false.
I am a pragmatist a realist and rationalist, which doesn't mean I can't be hopeful or happy it just means I apply experience to situations in order to move forward. The reason I point this out is when I am confronted by people for the way I am perceived the word negative is often tossed around. People don't know what to do with you when you aren't always spinning things to see the silver lining. They don't know how to handle a real answer, they believe your hope has shriveled up died along with your health. They don't understand that hope can be a bit of a four letter word. Not that we can't have it but that it's used like a weapon against real, hope grenades are just as dangerous as denial.
A lot of people honestly believe that a positive attitude is all you need. Those of course are usually the people who have never been chronically ill. I also believe some people confuse the word positive with bullshit but that's my opinion.
Negative Nancy?
Maybe.
What I do know is it's hard for other people to see you suffer, and it makes them uncomfortable. Eeeeew. They would much rather believe you are getting better. That's probably a completely normal and unselfish reaction. But here's the down and dirty truth, there is no cure for Fibromyalgia my HOPE is that someday there will be progress with treatments but as of right now most treatments are either ineffective, harmful, or only provide mild (less than 20% overall) relief. There are most definitely treatments and lifestyles changes that will affect how successful these therapies are but there is no cure. Also let me tell you that there is a huge amount of stigma and discrimination associated with this illness. If you have it you know what I am saying.
so my question is can we openly talk about these difficulties without being labeled negative, can healthy people stuff their uncomfortable feelings long enough to bear our honesty or do we have to plaster on our happy faces and platitudes and say oh yes I will get better don't you worry, and I am oh so happy to learn these awesome life lesson at such a young age!
The seventh circle of hell isn't fibromyalgia it's every other persons reaction to you with fibromyalgia.