Oh No! Did I?

People are so strange. One of the weirder things that happens when people find out you have a pain condition is to apologize for their pain. 

They feel guilty or embarrassed to even mention pain they have had and instantly back peddle if they do mention it, making sure to qualify that they have never experienced what you have. Like we sit on the throne of pain and anyone who mentions it is a traitorous usurper and shall be beheaded! 

People commiserate from time to time, its just a way to bond. Its so awkward for me when I know you won't share your pain because you think your story can't compare to mine. I have experienced so much pain and so many forms of pain that I am most likely to know what that pain might feel like. I understand that makes people uncomfortable and I admit I don't particularly love it when someone compares their work out pain with my constant pain. I do want to hear about you, the real you and that includes the pain, and when you ask me how I've been or what I've been doing, but then get all weird when I talk about my group or my trigger point injections this week, that is my life do you really want to know about me if you can't hear about that? 

I promise I won't flay you for telling me about a muscle strain or the nasty headache you had this week. Just do me a favor and don't freak out when I tell you about mine. If you've been listening then you will realize that I am always in pain, it's become my norm and sometimes it's nice to commiserate without seeing someone shrink back and change the subject, and I promise I'm not even telling you a fraction of what's actually happening. Don't worry I don't need you to do anything about it either. 

If you're really worried about offending me just ask me, I'll be honest. 

Fibromyalgia has made me incapable of small-talk, unless maybe you're a book geek or into awesome tv shows it's just impossible. I don't have a job which is not easily explained, I am divorced because of illness, I am allergic to alchohol and I spend my days doing therapies to manage my pain. Not exactly conducive to small-talk, so if we are talking it's all guts. That's the way of it, and if I'm talking to you it's because I genuinely want to know you.