Yeah I know, but it's how I feel.
I gotta ask, not that I will get any answers, but really it's just mental musings anyhow. how does someone love another after this? How could you possibly ever trust someone ever again? Do you ever or does it just become a mostly thing? I mean I thought I knew him and I know you can never truly know anyone but how could I be so wrong?
I'm hanging out with Alice, I'm completely down the rabbit hole. What's up is down, what's big is small. I don't know anything at all.
I know everyone has insecurities, things they stress about. My biggest one was this; that one day my husband would give it all up, that he would decide I was too much of a burden. Well, Shit. So now I wonder was it just insecurity or something I was in denial about? Did I feel that way because I knew the truth or did I somehow self-fulfill? Alice?
I know it takes a certain kind of person to be able to handle a chronic illness, but I don't get to walk away, why do you? I gave you everything I had, everything. All you could think about was you. So fuck you very much.