This time of year is hard for me it's the end of maintenance mode and the start of a lot of irritating and painful symptoms. Spring is usually the worst but winter definitely gets it all going. I conveniently forget every year the myriad of annoying things that await me.
The time change (which I don't see any logical reason why we still observe) it's hard to see darkness before you even start making dinner and it always seems to slam down on me, I'm longing for bed by 7. I'm sure I have a bit of S.A.D. But I imagine it's made worse by all the other stuff.
The dryness: dryness is always a battle here in the desert, but there is just something horrible about this dryness it permeates everything. My eyeballs feel like sand, my mouth is sticky and sore and no amount of water, eye drops, or electrolytes help, my skin hurts constantly kind of like a bad sunburn, I can see sparks fly every time I move the blankets or touch anything.
The muscle cramping and spasms; it must have something to do with the dryness or maybe the coldness, my muscles become more sore from clenching them against the cold, my neck, shoulders, back, jaw, glutes all in knots, not joking my therapists find big hard knots everywhere.
The Raynauds (ray knows) - blood vessels in my body mainly my fingers toes ears and nose constrict dangerously and reduce blood flow causing my extremities to loose circulation and warmth- it's extremely painful, and even when they do warm back up the residual ache is ever-present. Also associated with this syndrome is flushing which if you have ever met me you have likely seen the hot red blotches the cover my neck, arms and face. Arrg.
The fatigue which is with me always just seems to be soul-sucking this time of year, I feel like sludge. Fatigue is probably one of the worst symptoms because it is the most limiting, you can fight through a lot of pain if you have enough energy. I have many different levels of fatigue, if I'm lucky it's just a general sluggishness and weariness like walking through water. Which I imagine a lot of people feel after a night with no sleep. Often it's more; I start having trouble with thought and movement, coordination is slower, I have trouble gripping things or standing. When it's really bad it begins to feel like my body is encased in concrete, every movement takes monumental effort, I have a hard time moving my head to track and speaking becomes too hard, I will refuse to talk unless I have to, I feel like every word costs way too much. This is Zombie mode. You'll usually know if I'm in zombie mode by my posture: slumped, my hands either in my lap or hanging limply, my head will be resting against whatever is behind it, my jaw and face slack, sometimes this mode strikes me suddenly and I am unable to function or get out of the car. It's awful, it's frustrating and embarrassing.
So I live In a world filled with arm and leg warmers, eye drops, lotion, vitamin E, vitamin D, Magnesium, hot baths, heating pads, blankets. I do find that frozen things like pineapple or grapes or ice chips help shock my mouth enough into not feeling so much of the discomforts of dryness, though I have to make sure not to handle them directly or my raynauds will trigger...
Good stuff aye?
On a positive note, every year I learn new ways to deal with these things, new coping methods and supplements that help me survive, it's not glamorous and winter and spring always terrify me every since the dark hole that was 2012-13 but I made it out of that season alive I can make it out of this one too, and even though it was terrible I'm glad that I didn't give up. This support group and all of you play a huge role in my healing process.