When you hear the word kid what do you think? Do you think child? For me it immediately makes me think of baby goats. Wild, raucous, annoying, and overstimulating bleating baby goats, which I guess was indeed the point of the term.
Why am I ranting about baby goats you ask? yeah weird segue I know but I am going somewhere with it I promise.
I've started seeing Fibromyalgia as kind of this third person in my life; like, wait for it-- a kid, and it seems weirdly appropriate. Every day I wake up and take care of the kid I feed the kid, I listen to the kid, I teach the kid, I take the kid to all of its appointments and extra circulars, the kid demands a lot of attention and when we are out of the house often gets cranky and needs a nap, the kid regularly disrupts plans and keeps me awake throughout the night.
You see where I am going with this?
I think I need to see my Fibromyalgia as an external third party because for a long time I have just absorbed it and that can damage you and your relationships. It makes you angry and bitter and you become a part of the thing you hate. I need to work on separating Me from my Fibromyalgia. Thinking of it as "the kid" might help me stay objective and humorous.
If I let it, the kid runs the show, demands all my attention and is totally selfish and leaves no time for anyone or anything else. Sometimes the kid needs a time-out. I'd really love to put the kid up for adoption but no one will take it (too far?) hah!
I know it's a weird concept but it helps me put it in its place. Whatever analogy works for you use it. I wish I would have learned to do this earlier, I might have been able to keep my sense of humor in tact and save myself some heartache. Coping strategies are fundamentally important to surviving with chronic pain, and it's one thing doctors truly neglect when giving us this diagnosis. We are bulldozing head-first down a path that is uncomfortable for most people to even discuss let alone guide, and it's not as if we are the first to experience it. I know there is no rule-book but it's kind of backward to start from scratch every time, don't you think? If we could teach people how to cope earlier we might save a lot of people from truly bad cycles of hate and blame.
Don't forget that part of coping is having a safe-place to discuss your feelings openly. It would be great if that place was at home with family but that is not always the case and you don't want to over-burden them either. (That is another topic entirely) It truly takes a village... ok ok.
Do you have a way of looking at your Pain that might help others? Please share them with us.